So I finally met Kristaris. He wasn’t really what I was expecting, but it was quite exciting really. There’s not a lot of skaa allomancers around but given what he said…im wondering if maybe the resistance is the place to find them. People with skills like mine…they’d be extremely useful in a fight to overthrow the obligators.
But, you see, that’s what has me worried. I like the idea of doing good and I’ve always defended myself when it mattered but now…he’s asking if I’d kill guards. Kill loyal skaa. Kill, full stop. I’ve wanted to kill people, that steel misting pirate for example, but this is a whole new ball game. Going into somewhere looking to take down the people inside…it sounds wrong. I made excuses, said I needed to ask my friends, but really I don’t know if I’m ready to stand up to the obligators as the most illegal thing in existence. Something they’d kill with barely a cursory nod. It felt good to show someone else what I am though. I felt pride in what I’ve learnt.
Once we’d met though, I could take some time away. I haven’t seen Pidge, Penn or Pallino much. I’m adjusting to the city well enough but they’ve been caged up with Bella and Fallow and lord ruler knows what that might do to a person. They’re at least on speaking terms again. Pidge seems alright, him and nebellea seem to be getting on well…which in and of itself is amusing and terrifying. Penn is still my rock in all this craziness: he got some horseshoes while out getting supplies as an extra for when I get in fights and I’m quite flattered by the gesture.
Pallino is more…restless. I think he sees the whole house servant thing as a step down. I tried to speak to nebellea about it but she was frankly quite dissuading. Her and Alhara seemed to think it was better to have him as a servant because we could trust him, but that isn’t why we’re doing this. He wants more involvement in store related things: he seems himself as a more mercantile Skaa and that’s what he wants to do. But they can only think what is convenient for them: Alhara explained why she felt that way but Nebellea said because he lacked the expertise, she wouldn’t let him. She wouldn’t even agree to let him train or be involved in a small bit. If we all did what we were simply trained to do this far in the lives, then fuck the rebellion because skaa will still provide the manual labour and nobles will still rule. Because that’s what we’ve experience doing.
And where does that leave the terris? Alhara told me more about their lives, the breeding programs, and the various aspects of being a terris steward. It was interesting, hearing so much about a place I barely knew existed months ago. She’s got a lot of unresolved guilt and anger from that time and it was nice to see her be a bit more human. A bit less cold. I’m hoping it’s a start.